Monthly Archives: January 2010

The Practice of Celebration

January 25, 2010

Today I am practicing celebrating. I’ve heard it once said that followers of Christ should be the biggest party-throwers and celebrators out there because of the hope that is theirs and the endless joys at their fingertips. I like the idea, and so sometimes, when it does not come naturally to celebrate, I must practice it. I must will a celebrating heart.

I celebrate that I have one child. Only one right now. And I soak him up. We do things that he is in to. We are only on his schedule. We read and read and read. He and I are true buddies. The freedom really is lovely and fun.

I celebrate my flexible job on campus that bends for and welcomes motherhood.

I celebrate my friends who love me and ping me just to say they are thinking of me.

I celebrate the dreams that a few people have had about the hope of a new baby for us.

I celebrate the most handsome, tenderhearted, strong (”My dad is strong.” – randomly from Robby as he just sat on the couch yesterday) and “with me” husband that I am one with.

I celebrate my one and only blood-related sister, Hol. She is the best. I love thinking of ways to tell her how much she means to me like surprising her family at her firstborn’s second birthday.

I celebrate my in-law sisters. One just told me this week that she prays for me each passing menstrual cycle. One just sent me a song after my last post called: “Beloved” by Tenth Avenue North.

I celebrate my friends, K and L, who write songs for kiddos like my son to encourage pooping.

Speaking of…I celebrated my son today with a Potty Party with donut holes from Tim Hortons and a buddy for him to share them with because he was dry all day – and each time he asked to use the potty – he did! Not one diaper change today! It’s just plain fun to watch this happen and click. He’s a little over 2 and half.

I celebrate the fun and joy of public speaking. I just came from speaking at a sorority house on campus and I tucked Biblical truths and realities into my chat with them about Thriving Sisterhoods on Campus. I feel energized.

I celebrate you, dear reader. I know that my words are heard by someone and that helps me to stop and think about and care for each letter I type.

daddy

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What’s in a name?

January 18, 2010

I have recently asked God to romance me. Which seems weird and presumptuous and lofty and inappropriate. But  I am doing it anyway. I am trying to keep my heart soft and not hard. Full of love and not bitterness. And I am almost through the fantastic book titled: “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldridge. I have never read a book so well thought through in the topics of femininity, God, beauty and the Question that each woman is asking. Pick up the book to find out about our Question.

But one of the suggestions, in the context of a splendid chapter of this book, was to ask God to romance you.

I really believe God is responding and answering and telling me things.

I feel like God has given me the song I posted earlier “How He Loves” to me for a season. I cannot get over it.

An acquaintance texted me Psalm 45. She would have no idea that I have been pouring over this psalm for the last few weeks. It talks about how a King in the Davidic line of Israel is enthralled with the beauty of his bride. (God gives the covenant of Marriage as a metaphor for His love to us)

I just received a letter in the mail from a friend who was praying for me and felt God say: “Beloved.” She thought: “Yes, Lord, we are all your beloved!” And then she felt like He said: “Amy is My Beloved.”

The name “Amy”  actually means “Beloved.”

I’ve known my  name means Beloved for years – but it feels fresh, new and special right now. In a season where I feel despair – I am strangely filled with an equal amount of hope. Aren’t our hearts amazing? So many feelings all at the exact same time.

All of this might seem strange to you and wacky and charismatic. It seems like some of those things to me, too. What an adventure it is to put your hope in the Living God.

“Why are you in despair, O my soul?….All Thy breakers and Thy waves have rolled over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; And His song will be with me in the night, A prayer to the God of my life.” – Psalm 42

Speaking of despair – of course we are all struck by the despair of Haiti. I love this organization and I trust them to use my money with all uprightness and wisdom: Another national ministry of Cru, Global Aid Network (GAiN) has containers with 1 million meals in it in Haiti and eight more containers of food and critically needed supplies ready to ship. GAiN’s primary need at the moment is financial resources to distribute the goods they have to the people of Haiti. If you’d like follow Gain’s progress or give financially go to GAiNUSA.org

Myanmar-Cyclone
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Wintery Fun

January 7, 2010

Here’s a few christmas and wintery fun moments with our family:

robbyandgma

My mom and Robby enjoying the Lights before Christmas at the Zoo (Rob was working a shoot).

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Rob, Mickey (the drummer for Over the Rhine at his last show) and I at this year’s Christmas show.

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Sophie and Robby painting ornaments!

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Robby on his way to his “class” at Christmas Conference.

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Robby wishing us all a Happy New Year (up to midnight) with an unplugged phone.

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Robby in his new big boy underwear! (that he has an even score of points in the potty and in the underwear).

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Tommy T and Robby at the Cinci Lights at the zoo.

robbybrownie

Making/tasting brownies with Momma!

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(Sigh.)

January 4, 2010

Hormones combined with Loss can be a messy cocktail.

I got up this past Sunday morning and felt just like that. Like I drank a cocktail and now felt like a mess. There it was. The monthly sign of emptiness. Again.

I am fighting, with tooth and nail, to choose to see it as a monthly sign of ability.

I am wacking a ball with all of my might on an outdoor (17 degree day )platform tennis game and saying that this is a sign for hope.

I am putting on my firstborn son’s first pair of big boy underpants (which he peed 5 times in the potty today!) with a tenacity and a will that chooses to say: this monthly sign is the sign of life. Not emptiness. I bring life wherever I go.

I am deciding to remember and remember and remember that I think God spoke to me that it is by His grace we are not pregnant. And whatever that means, I would rather be caught believing than doubting. Faith is prized and precious. (O, increase it, Lord.)

I am choosing to cry. And to not harden my heart. And to talk when I want to. Or not.

I am remembering that I am not the only factor. I am not the only one. I am not the epicenter of all of this. I am appropriately small but cherished.

I am, with a wintery haze before me, saying that I will not winter my faith. I will not let it slumber. I will be awake in a time when death could reign.

Live. Life. Breath. Feel. Laugh. Smile. Cry. Hope. Remember. Fight. Walk. Build a snowman. With a real carrot nose. :)

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