Amy Seiffert

“Momma! This is not the right case for Lightning! This is the wrong one!”

Panic. Fear. Things are out of order for my little boy and he is starting to crumble….

Daddy had put Cars (the movie – a favorite – THE favorite) in a normal run-o-the-mill cd jewel case. Not the Cars dvd case that is it’s rightful home. And Robby was panicking. And when you panic you start repeating yourself  it seems.

Robby just kept saying: “It’s not the right one! It’s not the right one! It’s not…..”

“Oh well.”

Robby looked at me. I repeated it. Oh well.  ”It’s not in the right case, oh well.”

“But….but….”

“Oh well. Let’s practice flexibility, buddy…… It’s not in the right case, oh well.”

and he continued to tell me how it was in a wrong case and I continued to add at the end for him: Oh well.

Oh well.

Christy, our houseguest dropped by our room as I was installing my new mantra and remarked how she was feeling very flexible and relaxed just hearing our conversation. Nice. Let’s all say it together now: Oh well. No biggie. What a bummer. So many things have cause for me to say out loud, after I start to crumble: Oh well.

Here’s to the need for more Oh wells. For the seemingly big things that, with a simple Oh well, could help us move on with our day. What needs an Oh well today for you?

I’ve sensed a sweet freedom coming on lately.  I feel a bit lighter, more free, embracing the life we have and not wishing for another. Or to change it. Or to be someone else with more kids, or a baby, or anything else, really.

It feels like a sweet gift right now. I want to open it, keep it alive and well, all watered and pampered.

I have enjoyed a lot of giggles and laughs and TONS of kisses (should I be wondering about that oedipus complex about now?) and funny statements from Robby.

I have also enjoyed my time on campus a lot lately. Women are face to face to me asking: “How do I start to know God?” Or messages that include: “I’m so lost!!!!!!!!!” (there were even more exclamation points)

And I have also sensed a great freedom in using some other gifts God has given to me. I have had the privilege (and responsibility) of crafting a co-message with my pastor at Brookside Church. Kevin has been so fun to work with; he asked me to write and speak on the role of wives as followers of Jesus. Whew. No small potaters, here, good people.

After a lot of reading and writing – we delivered it this morning. We are doing a series titled: Building Blocks: Foundations for Marriage and Families. And it’s already up online to watch! (I’m overly amazed at technology. And I sleep with a graphic designer. Doesn’t seem to matter.)

So, if you find yourself with an extra half hour, an extended nap from your toddler or a really long smoke break – have a peak.

Kevin and Amy: Wives

And just for kicks – this is the view from my front porch right now. Robby and I planted then last Fall. He reminded me this morning: “I dug those!”

I remember memorizing it in Sociology my freshman year of high school. DABDA. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. The grief cycle. And I’ve learned a few more things about it since then: it doesn’t come in neat, 2-week segments that you easily move through, just taking your good old walk through Grief Park.

It’s messsy….you could move through the cycle many times over as you move through it in a macro way.

You could stay put in one area for a long time. Others experiencing your same situation could move at a very different pace – and each one of us legit in our process.

And here I am, moving through another cycle of grief.

Not pregnant.

Those words sting. Again. For the 11th time this year. I walk through the grief cycle every 32 days….which feels like a lot of grieving. I would like to skip it, but I cannot seem to make my heart do that.

Anybody else able to make their heart do something that it doesn’t want to do? When you figure out how, lemme know. And then write a book, make millions, buy a yacht.

Maybe you need a chart, too. I like this one. I would even say it’s a Death to Life cycle. The death of something/someone occurred on the left and you walk through it until you are walking in life. And so many deaths can happen in our days: the death of a dream, an idea, a hope, a person you thought was someone and was actually someone else, a unfulfilled desire, as well as a loved one….

I also fight to be aware that my God was “well acquainted with sorrows and grief.”  (Isa 53:3) He is not a stranger to pain, loss, isolation, confusion, sadness. And because of that, I do not walk alone. I do not walk alone. I do not walk alone. (Maybe if I say it over and over again it will sink in.)

Here’s to you, Grief Cycle. May you help us understand ourselves. May we embrace, even in the pain, what Socrates has said: “An unexamined life is not worth living.”

“There was a man by the name of Joseph, a member of the Jewish High Council, a man of good heart and good character. He had not gone along with the plans and actions of the council. His hometown was the Jewish village of Arimathea. He lived in alert expectation of the kingdom of God. He went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Taking him down, he wrapped him in a linen shroud and placed him in a tomb chiseled into the rock, a tomb never yet used. It was the day before Sabbath, the Sabbath just about to begin.

The women who had been companions of Jesus from Galilee followed along. They saw the tomb where Jesus’ body was placed. Then they went back to prepare burial spices and perfumes. They rested quietly on the Sabbath, as commanded.”

- Luke 23

May this Sabbath bring a quietness and rest in your heart.