here’s a few photos (thanks, Les!) as I wait for the up close and personal photography….
Monthly Archives: June 2010
Backyard Wedding
Thank you, Mom
for carrying me around for 9, long, and then very hot months. And then carrying me an EXTRA 3 weeks and trying to get me to come out by riding over a lot of railroad tracks. Yikes. (And that didn’t really work)
And then, thank you for wiping my bottom endlessly, for holding me, carrying me, serving my every waking need, and loving me with all of your heart. You really did it, Mom. Thank you so much. I am so glad to have my life, my family, my husband…..the list of gems is uncountable.
Happy Birthing Day, Mom. I love you.
Big Boy Bed
is here and some changes to his room. We went with a bright leaf earthy feel for my growing boy. This was another bit of death to dreams in some ways….I had always reserved his neutral room as the nursery….but we decided to keep his room and just adjust it to his growing needs. And if we have another, we’ll adjust again.
Garden Freely
Robby had the Garden of Eden in mind here, I’m sure.
Neighborly Chat
I got to talking to a neighbor-friend (it seems our backyard wedding turned into a generous street affair – chairs marching out from neighbors houses, fresh hydrangeas lopping themselves free to stand tall and royal in vases…) about our backyard wedding. Later, what a sweetheart…..she left a message:
and some more….
You might think this is a little bit indulgent.
It is. You’re right.
We had two photography gurus with free reign and a great camera- and that’s how you get over 600 photos to choose from. Yikes, that’s a small wedding. Speaking of wedding….off to weed and keep decorating our yard….how’s your wednesday?
Below we had Josh on the grill (he’s up for hire) with 6 different flavorful grilled pizzas. We had swings, story time and salads (see the fruit photo) and Rob juiced 45 limes for homemade margaritas. There aren’t many more parties where we can have adults with cocktails during the kiddo’s birthday….maybe one or two more years. 
Mack Truck Cake and more
Here’s a visual post for you….enjoy! (Rob and I have mastered the team work/cake building. Finally. We love each other even in the execution of odd mediums of frosting and flour.)
Our First Backyard Wedding
will be this Saturday! Our yard is really shaping up this year and we offered (after a great friend recommended we offer) it up for a low-key, thrifty little shindig. Think casual, flowered, green, blankety and a yellow and white striped tent to go along with the day. I’ll keep you posted, of course.
My boys prepping the lawn… 
With a gift I go
Can I get a hand raised? I might turn into a charismatic by the time this is all over. This one is about God and pulling back the curtain….giving me a peak behind the scenes. He doesn’t have to. I don’t deserve any help with my journey with expanding our family, with more motherhood, with anything, really. By God’s very grace I breathe. Anything more – a gift.
You ready for this? Here’s a little story…
It’s this past Autumn. The leaves are burnt umber and you can smell the firewood; hear the bullfrogs. Listen to the song of Summer’s final note.
I was worshipping God at our monthly Oasis night that my husband leads for our Cru ministry on campus. It’s just a Friday night to just sit, be, pray, listen, think, praise. And there I sat, in tears, asking: “Why God? I am so sad. This empty womb is sad to my heart. I’d love another.”
I then clearly thought God said, well, impressed on my heart: “It’s by My grace that you are not pregnant.”
Not pregnant. By God’s grace. What does that mean? Did you really say that? Should I think I’m crazy?
And then I felt like He added: “Death to self comes in pieces.”
If you are still reading, thanks. I might think I’m a nutjob, too.
So, I wrote it down. Dated it. Tucked it away. If it’s true, it’s true. If it’s God, it’s God. Time to wait.
Fast forward to a month ago. It’s going on a year of trying and Rob has gotten tested; thumbs up all around for those swimmers. Great job, babe. So, it’s me. I’m the one that seems to be holding us back with procreating. Whatsagirltodo? Gonna do some tests…but I just don’t feel like seeing how deep the rabbit hole might go. The thought is enervating. And I started to ask God to confirm what I thought I heard in the Autumn.
And my dear friend is praying for us, again. Wrestling, really. Asking God why?
She believes God impresses on her about me: “I’m protecting her.”
She came to me, nervous, ready to share this word for me but afraid for a few reasons. It’s probably not what I want to hear. What if she’s wrong…what does it mean….
We share a moment in my backyard, our sweet kiddos playing together.
Peace, like a cool fresh breeze, winds around my hair as I stand there. But I’m not quite sure I know it’s peace. It feels cool, light, good.
(I’ve mentioned that I have felt a lightness lately, as if the heaviness has lifted in this journey right now.)
More weight seemed to lift.
So now what? Now what with all the “words” from God? All the impressions? The Bible talks about testing everything, holding on to what is good. (1 Thes. 5:19-21)
The testing:
Do they line up with God’s Word – the Bible? Check.
Do I trust the person who delivers it and their journey with God? Check. (well, one is me….hmmm….)
Does it resonate with my spirit? Check.
So here I am. Peaceful. Not feeling rushed. Wide-eyed. Curious. Thankful. If God is protecting me, then I feel loved. Protection and Love are tethered. Unified. That is sweet.
So sweet that God is protecting me and it’s by His grace. (At this point I am choosing to believe it.)
Ahhh…but the speculation. Protecting me from what? Myself? Others? My body? Pain, emotional or otherwise?
There it is. Still walking it out by faith. With a gift as I go. Still questions. Still asking: how do you want us to expand our family? And how does my motherhood fit with my strengths, gifts, future? How do I go forward medically? With potential foster/adopt anything?
Either way, thankfulness wraps my heart. Like a pink, cellophane wrapper, crinkling as I walk, reminding me whose I am. Loved. Protected. Sweet.
Tying the knot….
May is wedding month in our world as we work with graduating college seniors who marry their Falcon Flame (a BGSU love connection – just like us!). I caught this sweet man to man teaching moment just outside the church.
Can you properly tie a tie? (I learned in high school….as the women’s basketball team we thought it would be awesome to wear ties like the guys on game day….mmmhmmm)
And who is teaching whom?
