Amy Seiffert

no go. I know you were all waiting in hopeful anticipation, sweatin’ it out. Wait no more. We did not win. Selected but not good enough. During the revealing (with about 20 other people in the room) I got sweaty palms and I practiced my acceptance speech. I checked my hair. I hoped.

Nuthin.

Thanks for rooting for us. Ya’ll are the real winners.

In other news….here’s some summer highlights of wedding fun, cousin time and a lil shower shin dig I hosted in our house:

We were covertly “selected” as one of the top 12 most beautiful “front-scapes” in our town for the 2010 year. How lovely….but I think the joke might be on us.

I was weeding the backyard (liked a selected gardener ought to be doing) when a retired couple with a clipboard approached me and asked to put a sign that reads “Selected Home for Beautiful BG” in our front yard until July 24. On that day, the top 3 houses will be awarded giftcards to our local nursery.

Don’t think I didn’t just march my tail to the front yard and promptly start weeding that whole stoop so that sign would really mean something. And yes, you’ll see me now watering my grass. You put me in a contest, and I’m going to win, baby. That’s the bottom line. Game on, grass-clippers and garden-competitors.

Several neighbors have asked if it is a voting process and can they help us out? One friend suggested that she could be of a unique use; she was willing to, in the darkest hours, vandalize the other “selected homes”. Select this, she thought.

I quickly talked her down. (But affirmed her that she is indeed an adult who can make her own choices….)

But I think the joke might be on us. How is it that I have not seen one other “selected” sign in any other yard in town? Are we busting our butt for nothing? Will we show up this Saturday in our dungarees, plastic garden clogs and hoes in hand to a ghost award ceremony…..just the bees buzzing and the quiet meadow starring back at us, tilting back it’s head in a quiet laughter?
I’ll let you know who wins….

-When we make mac and cheese, we always stir in a vegetable. It was a frequent and fervent belting of “Mac and Cheese and Peas!” for a while. Tonight, we tried broccoli. We poured frozen broccoli in the boiling water first….then after a few minutes added the pasta and made as instructed on box for a quick meal. Good move. He gets shocked when he has “regular” mac and cheese sans green stuff.

-The Heart of the Matter. We have gone after the heart of the 3 year old around here, not just the outward attitude and motions. Frequently I will ask him: “Do you have a sharing heart? Because it looks like you don’t.” Jesus said from the heart flows our actions….so let’s start there. Tonight Robby told me: “I do not have an obedient heart, Mama.” Well, then. Let’s turn that one around. We’ve started an Obedient Heart Chart with stickers. He has gotten three chocolate icecreams so far! (for filling up a 9 sticker chart)

-I want him to know the Bible at an early age. Not like some weirdo kid…but one who knows the God who made him. We have been repeating/singing this phrase from a letter from St. Paul: “Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy and it is not rude.” Then tonight, after Robby was quite rude to me, I asked him to tell me if love (and acting in loving ways) is rude or not. He sat and thought. Then said, Love is NOT rude! Great job, buddy. Please act in love.

-The power of choice. Tonight Robby wanted so badly to get out of his bed when I was saying goodnight and was threatening with his toes toward the floor. I gave him a choice: He may get out of his bed, but then I close the door all the way and turn off his nightlight OR he can stay in his bed and I will leave the nightlight on and the door half open. I bet you know his choice….he is sound asleep in his comfy bed.

Any other tips, O dearest wise readers?

(this sums up our summer play…so exhausted he fell asleep while making a “diving board” out of pillows after swim lessons)

How’s that for a title for today’s post?

5 Facts about Coffee, Hypothyroidism and Fertility in my life:

Fact 1-Whenever I have coffee (once a week?) I feel jittery, really jolted and my brain is running faster than normal. Caffeine is a big deal in my body.

Fact 2-However, I have noticed that lately, if I have coffee, then I actually feel more myself; back to my normal level of energy. Hard to admit but true. Hmmm.

Fact 3-About 4 years ago, when we were trying to get pregnant (for 18 months) the first time, they did some blood work. My TSH came back 86. Normal TSH levels are between 4-6. Yikes. My thyroid was really lacking and trying to make up for itself.

Fact 4 – “Thyroid dysfunction can halt ovulation by upsetting the balance of the body’s natural reproductive hormones.” – Thyroid Patient Advocate Mary Shomon

Fact 5 – About 3 months after taking Levothyroxin 4 years ago, we got pregnant.

I had some recent blood work done again. Normal Thyroid levels are from 0.4-4.0. Mine came back a 6.8.
HYPO-Thyroidism.
But that’s strange. The symptoms of Hypo don’t seem to fit me very well:
____ Overweight or inability to lose weight (nope)
____ Feeling run down, sluggish, lethargic (well, actually, YES)
____ My hair is coarse and dry, breaking, brittle, falling out (nope)
____ My skin is coarse, dry, scaly, and thick (nope)
____ I have a hoarse or gravely voice (nope)
____ I have puffiness and swelling around the eyes and face (nope)
____ I have pains, aches in joints, hands and feet (nope)
____ I am having trouble conceiving a baby (YES)
____ I feel depressed (sometimes…which is weird b/c it’s Summer)
____ I feel restless (nope)
____ I feel irritable (YES)
____ My moods change easily (I’m a woman, right?)
____ I have feelings of worthlessness (nope)
____ I have difficulty concentrating (who doesn’t)

Fatigue and Irritability. Those jumped out at me and almost knocked me off my stool. I looked around, stayed composed and tried to act normal. I have never felt a lack of energy, really, in my life. (well, post-giving birth…) but I have felt fatigued most of this spring and summer, if I’m honest.

All to say – I know that my thyroid is not going to be the “ticket” that answers my fertility issues. That would be God and His sweet hand-holding. (Did you know He holds hands? How absolutely sweet of Him. See Psalm 37:23) But I would like to feel normal again and I am glad to admit that I feel these some of these things; that I am battling a sluggishness and an underlying irritation and that it’s because something is not right. Something is wrong.

So here’s to you, coffee. May you awaken much more than a groggy head for my readers.

It’s a staple around these parts. Forgiveness is a daily, sometimes hourly practice in our home. Just about an hour ago Robby said (after repeating my prompting): “Running away was wrong. I’m sorry, Mama. Will you forgive me?”

Yes, son. I forgive you. Let’s remember to always ask if you want to do something LIKE RUN INTO THE LAKE WHEN I CANNOT SEE YOU.

He just wanted to go into the water while we were packing from our our day at the beach with our friends and families. I was packing up in one direction, Rob was in another and children were playing, laughing…..and then: where’s Robby???

Wading into the water with his Capri Sun like it’s nothing.

Well, we all know it wasn’t nuthin’. He was sorry he did that, for sure. Anybody else have a good child-ran-away-and-you-freaked moment?

I have been reading about forgiveness on an adult level lately, too. Here’s a few thoughts in case you need them and have to do the hard work of forgiveness.
The sweaty toil of prayerful nights as you seek to forgive someone that just wants to cling to you; clinging like a spider web you didn’t see on your morning jog through a wooded path. How do I untangle this invisible mess and forgive?

-Forgiveness is the release of the hope of a different past.

-Forgiveness is when I stop punishing the one who hurt me.

-Forgiveness is an event AND a process. I say “I forgive you” as an event. And then each time I remember the offense, I must continue to forgive.

-Forgiveness is a three-fold promise: When you forgive someone you absorb the cost of the offense committed against you. You cancel the debt, and when you do, you say 3 things:
-”I will not bring up this offense again or use it against you”
-”I will not bring it up to others in gossip, or malign you because of it.”
-”I will not bring it up to myself and dwell on the offense” (I will not replay the videotape of your sin so that I can savor every excruciating detail)

-Failure to forgive turns victims into victimizers. Matthew 18:28 – The servant in the parable did not forgive. Instead, he grabbed and choked the one who owed him. When we fail to forgive, we are active, not passive.

-Forgiveness cancels a debt. When there is a debt, someone must pay it. Either the one who owes must pay it back, or the one who is owed must absorb the loss. Either the one who has sinned must make amends or the one who has been sinned against must bear the pain and loss himself. The offense can’t be minimized or ignored. The person who forgives no longer expects to be repaid for what she has suffered and lost.

May forgiveness free you…..

(how can you not forgive a face like that?)