When I get more sleep, I will write better. I promise. In the meantime....
-I have been reduced to a rice cake. Olive has acid reflux symptoms, but these are also symptoms of food allergies. So I have officially cut out dairy and gluten (wheat). Yikes. I give full credit to those of you who have to do this always. What a switch. We are seeing if Olive has a food allergy to these. What can I eat? Fruit, veggies and rice cakes. Well a bit more, but not really....yay for Chex cereal and Almond milk. That's a go-to right now.
-Olive. Love her to bits - but she does just not want to eat well. She screams, fights and spits up at the breast. Beyond frustrating (which I write in tears)
-7p - 11p is pretty overwhelming. She is tired, hungry and grouchy. Rob and I pass her back and forth. Rob takes her for a walk in the treadmill. He says it takes about 11 minutes for her to fall asleep and then he walks for another 15 just to make sure. By then I am asleep. So much for connecting.
-"Sanctification": the process of becoming more like Jesus. Dying to self (and death to my morning egg, or milk or bagel or icecream and to uninterrupted sleep that I've had pretty much the last 3 years) and taking up your cross and following who He is. If this is how I am going to be sanctified, then here we go. Here. We. Go. Suckas. My competitive spirit feels ready to be chipped away at and molded and paired down. My other half feels exhausted and overwhelmed. My spirit is willing, my flesh is weak.
- Where does my help come from?
"I lift up my eyes to the hills–where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip–he who watches over you will not slumber; Indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you–the LORD is your shade at your right hand; The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm–he will watch over your life; The LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
-Psalm 122 (I'm so glad Someone Else isn't sleeping, too!)
May the source of angst in your life, the source of frustration, fatigue, fear - the source of the threat to remove your joy - may it drive you to Jesus. Didn't He know suffering? Didn't all of His friends run away from Him? Didn't He sweat blood out of anxiety? Didn't He get pummeled in the back alley of betrayal? He knows and is not far; He is quite, quite near. He is our Help.