It's been 77 Days of being a recovering yeller. So many people are surprised by the fact that I was a yeller...but having a big personality can easily mean having big frustrations....big hot pots of emotional boiling water...and then big explosions. (As well as genetics....) I'd like to reduce the size of my explosions. As the apostle John once wrote regarding his bigness as a human and Jesus as King: "May Jesus increase, and I decrease."
So we arrive on 11 weeks since I sat with my counselor and friend. Day 77. And I am thankful to share that I have 3 recorded yells.....and they truly were modest yells. But I cannot say they weren't yells....so they are. (Tennis rules apply here: If you cannot decisively call that ball out...then it's in.)
I have learned a few things along the way:
1. If I am calm, so are my children. If I am a crazy person, so are my children.
Mama really does set the tone for a household in many ways.....and I know when my husband feels like he is walking on eggshells 'cuz Mama's not happy. And my children emotionally boil over as I do. The opposite holds true. They model me....whose the example? Whose the adult? Hmmmmm.....
2. Living angry is miserable.
I don't like having clenched fists, furrowed brows, tight jaws and tension in my shoulders. It's miserable. I have detected my physical cues...and as soon as I breathe out, choose a smile, open my hands and look for a way to laugh....my load is lighter.
3. Hunting for Humor is Healing
I am looking for all kinds of ways, in the middle of my son or daughter's melt down, to lighten the whole situation. My husband is a pro at this. He has used the sword of humor to cut through anxiety or mounting fear and pressure in our marriage. The reality is that often the ridiculous moment has a funny side. Wisdom leads me to see it and either enjoy it myself or share it with Child in Pit. This also gives me a creative way to make said child relax.
4. My temper is quick as lighting; but my learned response can be just as fast.
In less than 3 seconds I can go from feeling "Well, I am really annoyed and frustrated and unsure how to handle this one.....to I AM GOING TO THROW SOMETHING HUGE AND MAKE A LARGE SCENE IF I CANNOT FIGURE OUT THIS MELT DOWN." It's reeeeallly something. But where I have typically ran my mouth to anyone who will hear me....I can just as quickly shut it. Just Shut Your Mouth. Find control as quickly as you find frustration. With prayer, accountability, confession and humility, God has helped me be quick to shut my mouth.
5. Exercise is a Life Jacket
If I am going to stay afloat as a semi-stay at home mom of young ones - I need a good, solid life jacket when my arms and legs give out from treading my daily waters. I have picked up running again (just 2-3 miles) as well as my all time favorite tennis, and yoga, Spike Ball (just google it, and then get addicted) and Hiit Training. The endorphins and energy and positivity surging through my veins is an extra help to see above water and bring life to my home. Not death. Every single day.
May you be encouraged if you are a recovering yeller. And if you have other benefits or things you've learned along the way.....might you share?