ENTJ Parenting

It's not you...it's me.

Really.

As an ENTJ parent on the MeyersBryggs personality test...I have some strengths. Annnnnd some weaknesses. And when I get frustrated and my temp is rising toward my kids or my family dynamics - it’s at that moment I need to remember: it’s most likely me. Not them.

ENTJ’s have different stressors that get their head spinning. There are 3 that really speak to me as a parent - especially of young children:

-Indecisiveness

-Inefficiency

-Others Ignoring Established Guidelines 

ok, four:

-Lack of Control

The above 4 “stressors” for my personality are VERY present in children….and especially in Preschoolers. Indecision is the name of Olive’s game right now: “I want to wear the pink pj’s! Not the pink! The purple long ones! No! The pink! Not the puuuuuurple! No - the pink!” This is a real conversation. Every. Single. Night. The indecision slowly makes me want to….I don’t know…..say very rude things. This is why Dad rocks at bedtime with her.

Inefficiency. Children are completely inefficient. No one is thinking about getting everything they need from their room all in one swoop before leaving for school. Sometimes my 7 year old runs up and down the stairs to his room 6 times….forgot socks! I need to make the bed? Whoops! I need to brush my teeth? Where’s my red school folder?

And then efficiency in life….having three kiddos is anything but efficient. Getting out the door without forgetting your one year old’s shoe that he just got off and chucked across the kitchen floor or to refresh the diapers in your bag or to grab your coffee too…..several trips is just what is needed to get into a van with a family of 5. Not. Efficient.

Others ignoring established guidelines

….that’s, again, what kids do. They push against what you have set. They ask WHY a bazillion times….or just ignore the rule and start shoving each other on the bar stools at breakfast. This is a clearly stated rule they are ignoring. Blatantly. This is also what most kids want to do growing up - ignore rules and do what you want to do. And if ENTJ’s are not ready for this constant stressor to be a norm in their life…..then stressed you shall be.

And the lack of control a preschooler may have….say, when they don’t get their way? The solution? Why not just scream? And not control your body in any way but let it flop around and kick and scream (did I mention that?) and in general lose all control.

Sometimes I find myself clenching my teeth and sighing loudly….and Rob asks if I’m ok. Since understanding more about how I am wired and then interposing that with being a mom….I have to step back and see that it is not my children’s fault.

In fact, fault is not the thing here. They are kids. I am an ENTJ mom. We are made this way and we are growing up…all under the same roof. I am growing up and they are growing up and we all help each other grow up. They are learning what they like or do not - decisions are part of growing. They are learning what would be the best way to get out the door in the morning - me too. They are understanding why guidelines are established and what they are for as they do life.

And I lack control when it comes to chocolate. So we are all even here.

If you are an ENTJ - this stressor picture was a good gift to me and helped me understand myself. Not an ENTJ? Find what stresses you out here and maybe you’ll give yourself and those under your roof more grace in the growing.