Dreams, Purpose, and Motherhood.
I'm a dreamer. I've got ideas and hopes and vision and all kinds of things ping ponging around my mind.
I'm a Mom. I've got three hilarious and brilliant kids and sometimes we do Respite Care for foster children and have a few more beautiful souls around.
I'm the Director of Outward Movement at my church and love my job with its ups, downs and all arounds.
And sometimes I wonder if they all have space. Can I be a mom and live out a dream or two? Can I do my ministry well and still see my writing through? Can I walk through Motherhood with purpose and significance and pursue outside-the-home dreams?
Dreams may be dormant for a season, but they aren't dead.
Potty training and M-n-M rewards may be my LIFE for a while, but not forever. Nursing in the night with a newborn may leave my brain equivalent to burnt toast, but not forever. Time outs, getting wiggly kids dressed, wiping who knows WHAT off the wall may be today, but it's not forever.
It’s a rare, slow morning as I'm writing right now. I can hear my 3 and 5 year old play in the hall with stuffed animals, telling wild stories. While my 10 year old sleeps right through it. Knowing I have about 15-20 minutes of this sweet independent play, I write.
I have learned to write in spurts and quick quiet moments. In the early, still morning and the late, exhausted night. In the bathroom for an extra minute on my google doc app on my phone. In the car as I voice text a paragraph. I always thought I needed a cleared-off desk, a cleared-off calendar, a clear mind. But if I'm waiting for that, I'm waiting forever.
There are windows here and there. Though they feel small - a dream can still slip through cracked window sills. When a sentence strikes, I'm making space.
I've felt inspired and motivated this summer to write my book. And I'm actually doing it. Eight chapters in, I'm doing it.
My dreams aren't dead. They've just been dormant. There's a difference.
I'm off to She Speaks 2017 in North Carolina this week and will be with my people. These are women. These are writers. These are speakers. These are communicators with truth and grace in their hearts, pens and paper in their pockets. God as their King.
Friend, you may have dreams. Right next to children. Alongside a spouse. Underneath a job. Behind debt. Despite sickness. With hurdles and hopes and heaviness.
But you have them just the same. Make some space for them. They matter, too. You can be kind to your kids AND kind to your dreams. Tell yourself: seven minutes today. Set a small goal. Share it with a friend and start. But make sure to tell the right friend. The one who encourages, cheers on, and fosters your hopes. Turns out I have the right husband and a handful of right friends. My husband values dreams as much as family and it's beautiful. My friends edit and read and collaborate and encourage my words. My very heart turned to ink. And it's fantastic.
When the calendar turned to June, I told myself: ten minutes each day for ten days. Being summer with kids everywhere all day long, it felt like I set the stage for failure. But it was SOMETHING. I had to try something. And God has multiplied my time, my words, my dreams. The most packed and crazy week of my summer, with extra kids, extra schedules, extra mouths to feed - was my most fruitful week of writing.
So here's to the Dreams.
The dormant ones.
The difficult ones.
The absolutely-not-dead ones.
Dreams, we welcome you and we honor you and we will walk by faith with you in mind.