Running Up the Stairs*
two by two step, breath, step
up and up
get there, keep getting there
on my way to discover a thought that was down
down in my gut
down, breath, down
deep, inner and quiet
strong and profound and little and ordinary
was it my thought or yours, my death to dreams
or a note sweetly tied to the doorknob of my soul
knock, breath, knock
is this what I heard, what I thought, what was there
that sweet boy: he's going to be your only one
your only one
hear, breath, hear
step, breath, step
beat, heart, beat
beat in my son maybe my only son
only
one
love, heart, love
every minute of his silliness, his songs, his play
his kisses, his wonder, his hands
sweet little hands, little hands
mourn, heart, mourn
laugh, heart, please laugh
two by two
step, breath, step
up and up
get there, keep getting there
*Raw thoughts: got my stupid, glaring-at-me period today. I know why it's called a period. The finality is so sharp; it says Stop Hoping Now. And I'm glad I've chosen gray to wear for half a year. Today I could not handle much more than that.