Not your average light and fluffy thoughts today, folks. Psalm 51, anybody? It's a big and bold Bible passage. (you can just google it) For a big and bold confession.....remember King David? In the Bible? He rocked it out as a man who was "after God's own heart" but then.....made some really poor choices. He had an affair with a woman whose husband was fighting for HIS kingdom in HIS war....and then David had that man put to the front lines and killed....so David could have his cake and eat it too (again, not cute little kid pictures today).
I keep coming back to this psalm in my morning reading time.
There's this line that keeps jumping out at me:
It's verse 8: "Let the bones that you have broken rejoice."
This past February I felt like God broke me in a real way…..and in many different ways….I was face to face with my repeated outbursts at Robby (as I've written about before) I had never had someone tell me that what I was doing was unacceptable - as my counselor said: "It is never ok to lose control."
I thought raising your voices at your kids was ok…and normal. But just because many do it and it is normal - does not mean it is healthy.
I cried most of that day. I felt broken and like God just busted up my legs and I was unable to do my life.
I love his request in verse 8….let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Not let the bones that you have broken repair. Or heal. Or just be ok again. But let them sing and dance and skip and jump and rejoice! Let them find new paths! Let them walk a new and different road from where they have been taking me! Let there be beauty from these ashes! A bold request to our God who just broke an ugly part of me that needed to be broken....
Rejoicing bones. New paths. Dancing once-dead people.
So, it looks like the heart of brokenness is a heart that does at least 2 things according to Psalm 51 (it's a good read, one page):
-Boldly confesses sin - agrees with God and calls it exactly what it is - that it was against God, done what is evil in His sight
-Believes in God's unfailing love so much that she can ask God for specific help in the middle of her confession (look at those verbs in Psalm 51: purge, wash, rejoice, hide, blot out, create, renew, cast me not away, restore, uphold….vs 16 makes it clear….we cannot make up for it….broken and contrite hearts are what God wants in confession - not excuses, justifications and rationalizations….)
I was thinking there's a few things to do from here.....if it suits your fancy:
If God has not already brought to mind sin that needs to be confessed, I would take some time today to ask Him if there is any offensive way in you, any rebellion, any hard heartedness. Whatever pops in your mind, confess it. Don't wrack your brain for hours.
Sit with your hands open in front of you with palms turned upward as a way of letting your confession bring you healing, cleansing, and renewal.
May this hefty read be a gift in some way.....