(This is our story...not a formula or recipe to get what you want. This is just how it happened. May you be encouraged.)
This past Spring I had wondered if we should try for just one more baby. Were we open to that? Will I just always want "just one more"? Am I crazy...cuz life feels very full already.
"I feel pretty good." Rob replied, with a smile. Yep. He's been good with our two gifts....and gifts they are. We tried for 24 months for each of these sweet ones and you could tell Rob wasn't about to enter in to another 2 years of tears.
After chatting some more we wondered if we could give ourselves an end time. No baby by then, and we are done. Saves heartache....makes that choice for us.
We just don't get pregnant easily - so this idea felt....well, far-fetched. Kinda impossible. And really all we had was a poppy seed of a prayer of faith.
Our prayer that night was something like: "Lord, we are open to another gift. If you have a gift to give, would you give it between May and August. If not, we will then hear that we are a full family....and be done."
Most of the summer I wasn't really tracking or aware of my cycle....it just all felt like we don't really operate this way. As well, Robby is 6 and Olive is heading on 2....and we are having a blast. A lot of independence. Learning and growing and funny and fun. I wasn't tracking any cycles. Just trusting. Tracking vs. Trusting. I like the latter way better.
The same week that Robby learned to ride his bicycle on his own, went to all-day first grade and Rob had a big shoot for 4 days in Chicago is the week in August we found out we were pregnant.
I have never had the feeling of looking at a positive pregnancy test and thought: Oh. My. Gosh. What are we going to DO? We made another soul. (It was even more dramatic....)
And so here we are. I believe about 6 weeks along, but I will know more on Thursday.
We asked. We prayed. We relaxed.
It feels safe to say this was in God's plan. This was the scripture I read the following day:
"We all live off his generous bounty, gift after gift after gift. We got the basics from Moses, and then this exuberant giving and receiving, this endless knowing and understanding, all this came through Jesus, the Messiah....." - John 1:16
May you be encouraged to pray things your heart resists. May you know that God listens. May you believe just a little bit more today than before.