Love and Logic Magic!
Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Parenting from Birth to Six" By Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D. I'm 60 pages in - with a toddler on my heels and I am LOVING it. This is a fantastic book. I kept trying to ask around and survey for a very practical book with very loving ways of operating in my home on a daily basis - this is great!
We need to make 4 types of deposits into our children's daily lives:
-Build the self-concept
-Share the control or decision-making
-Offer empathy, then consequences (it's really substitute anger and frustration with empathy!!!)
-Share the thinking and the problem-solving
It's entertaining, it's quick, it's helpful, it's so practical for my life right now! From the first 10 pages - Rob came downstairs and asked what I was laughing out loud about. This book! I feel like an infomercial!
There are 2 rules to Love and Logic:
1. Take care of yourself by setting limits in a loving way.
2. Turn every mistake or misbehavior (starting at 9 months) into a learning opportunity.
Under the first rule of taking good care of yourself by setting limits in a loving way the author says:
Replace anger and frustration with empathy. (How can I get so easily angered and worked up in a matter of minutes with my toddler?).
Replace threats and warnings with simple actions.
Set limits you can enforce.
Give away the control you don't need.
He goes on for a whole section of disciplining without frustration or anger. I am aware that I can be a hothead (with all affection - thanks, dad) and I notice Robby can easily push my limits. I am excited to try these suggested ideas - with all the right topics: Grocery story temper tantrums, bedtime battles, power struggles over eating, whining and saying "no", fits in restaurants, potty training, getting them to brush their teeth.....
I think I am going to need to practice until this becomes habit - but I am very motivated. I will check in with you when I am further down the road - I am sure every page isn't amazing and I may disagree with some things - but not yet!